We didn’t go to the Booksellers Association conference earlier this week.  We were planning to as it was supposed to be being held in Gateshead at a rather swanky new conference centre.  But there were complaints about the distance from London and so the venue was changed to Cambridge.  That’s over 5 hours on a train with two changes and then another 20 miles by coach (or £20 cab if you missed the coaches) to the conference centre.  Frankly, although the Independent Booksellers’ Forum organised in Edinburgh in March was good fun and really useful we couldn’t really spare the time to trek down there.  Holding it outside London was a good idea in some respects but to be honest, we’d have gone if it had been held in London as we could have seen friends as well and the train journey is 4 hours of peace each way to read and work.

Anyway, having established why we weren’t there, it’s been interesting over the last day or two to catch up on what did happen.  Sadly, Yeadon’s didn’t win the Independent Bookshop of the Year Nibbie for Scotland although our near-neighbours Canongate did win a gong to add to the awards they’ve garnered recently having had their best year ever.

But something did leap out at me this morning.  Apparently, the book trade is going to have a new marketing slogan; an over-arching concept reaching across all aspects of the booktrade which will promote book-buying to the public.  So far, so good.  After all, the milk ads have been successful in using athletes, actresses, slebs et al to promote the positive aspects of drinking milk without promoting one supplier over another. 

So what is this concept, arrived at after “marketing directors were consulted, then a cross-industry creative workshop convened from which four key conceptual threads were teased: books are great; books are good for you; books are good value; and word plays. The selection criteria were cut-through, flexibility, longevity, re-appraisal; and PR platform potential”?

“Bookaholism” – that’s what they came up with.  Yes people, we’re going to liken a love of books to an addiction to alcohol.  That’s classy.  And it gets worse.  Apparently ”among the slogans likely to be seen in the campaign – which, having been green-lit, will be prioritised and rolled out before Christmas – are “Consume no less than one a month”, “Class A reading material”, “This book is seriously addictive”, “Once you’ve started it’s hard to stop” [sorry, but that was Pringles - are we now likening our industry to crisp-selling?], and “Books are mind expanding” – I can’t see those working in our children’s bookshop or among the Morningside matrons who make up a large part of our customer base: “Yes madam, do try the new Eoin Colfer, I believe it’s very similar to crack cocaine”… Maybe not.

Damien Horner, who seems to have installed himself at the Booksellers Association as the resident ‘marketing guru’, described it as “an edgy campaign that is clever, fun, flexible, memorable and a PR catapult”.  ‘PR catapult’ has won a special prize in our office for the most ridiculous phrase we’ve heard so far this year.  Along with “top-of-mind awareness” which will apparently be an added bonus of this campaign.  Sheesh.

It gets better, not only are we having this foisted on us - although I think we might be resisting vigorously – but we’re being patronised.  The BA and the Publishers Association (largely made up of representatives from the bigger publishers and the people who commissioned that research into age-ranging that was so reviled and discredited last year) are going to co-fund this scheme “by a few for the benefit of the many”.  Gosh thanks guys. 

Although my command of cliches can’t compete with this scheme, it feels only right to end with one.  Things can only get better. 

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