Query of the day…
April 14th, 2010 by Vanessa
Person, practically shrieking from open doorway: “Do you have any jobs going for my daughter?”
Me: “If she hasn’t even got the gumption to come in and ask herself then no.”
also
“She doesn’t really like books, she prefers gaming. And she doesn’t like leaving the house. But I once nearly worked in Waterstone’s”
Inwardly, to self: “that doesn’t make her sound a whole lot better…”
Do you have any jobs for my son? He loves reading and also leaving the house. Plus he’s very good at picking up duplo.
But then I’ve never nearly worked in Waterstone’s so I expect it wouldn’t work, really.
If there are any jobs going there may I be first in the queue? My paws will keep the shelves tidy. My tail will keep them free of dust. I will unpack boxes and make sure the inventory is correct. I will pack parcels neatly. I will purr nicely at the customers and make sure there are no unwelcome visits from rodents.
Yours faithfully
A Cat
I always hope that you make up these little vignettes, but I fear you quote verbatim!
I’m laughing but I bet you are not; by the way I see you have another cat vying for your attention – Hissssssss go away! Perhaps my rival and I we could meet up and dust your shelves twice as quickly with both of our tails and then go to sleep somewhere inconvenient where you and your customers will trip over us.
Unbelievable. Trouble is, I believe it.
PS An agent has just told me that she sometimes gets phonecalls from a man telling her that his wife has written a lovely story that he’d like to send to the agent. So, what, is he going to do his wife’s promotional talks, too?